Sometimes you see a paint job on a car and can’t help but laugh, or maybe just shake your head and wonder what the heck the owner was thinking – which was probably something along the lines of, “That looked so much cooler in my head…” The following list is a bizarre parade of epically horrible car paint fails. Boys and girls, please don’t let this be you.
Pretty in Pink – Pink comes in many shades, all of which are horrific when applied to a motor vehicle. Unless you’re a cosmetics salesperson or possibly a Cadillac owner, driving around in a pink car is just not a good idea.
I See a Pattern Here – When deciding on a paint job, car owners can be inspired by just about anything – including floral wallpaper, abstract print bedspreads or possibly an interesting coffee stain. If the paint job you’re considering would look better on a wall or a piece of furniture, then do yourself and your car a favor and leave the fleur de lis prints in your great aunt’s living room where they belong.
Cars Gone Wild – It starts innocently enough. Maybe just an animal print license plate holder or at worst, seat covers and floor mats. But before long, your car is covered in a paint job that would make an animal rights activist cringe. Nothing says “tacky” quite like a zebra or leopard print paint job – except possibly a pink zebra or leopard print paint job.
Cartoons on Cars – You love a certain sponge and his uniquely shaped pants. That’s all well and good – if you happen to be an eight-year-old boy. If you own a car, chances are you’re probably a bit older. It’s perfectly acceptable to enjoy cartoons if you’re a grownup, but aren’t you a little bit old to have those cartoons emblazoned on the side of your car? Why yes, yes you are.
Scenes from a Bad Paint Job – On a related note, how cool is it to have a scene painted on your car of people gunned down in the street while a woman smoking a cigar flips off anyone unfortunate enough to see your ride? Oh that’s right – not cool at all. If you want to make an artistic statement instead of just making a scene, skip the glorified graffiti and go for something with at least an iota of class.
Busting Out All Over – Why anyone would want to make it look as though a naked woman was bursting through the hood of his car is beyond me, but oddly enough, somebody did. Whatever statement that’s trying to make boggles the mind.
Optical Delusions – Holy smokes! Your car is on fire! Oh wait, no – that’s just the incredibly realistic flame job you’ve got going on. Flame jobs on classic cars and hot rods are cool. Painting your car or truck so that it looks like it’s really on fire is not. Nobody really thinks your car can go that fast anyway, and putting flames around the wheels isn’t convincing anyone.
Things Not to Paint Your Car With – I love spray paint and sharpies, don’t you? I thought so, because you painted your car with them. The sharpie paint job was especially impressive. Exactly how many markers did you go through just to cover the hood and left front fender? I’m sure it’ll look a lot better when you manage to finish the rest of the car. Not.
Paint Jobs That Aren’t Actually Paint – Wait! I think I just saw my lawn driving down the street. Oh, my bad – that was a car covered not in paint, but in grass. That is truly “going green” to a whole new level. It’s great when car owners get creative with what they use to cover their cars. Christmas tree flocking and five and a quarter inch floppy disks are great options as well. However, I think the Mythbusters did it best with their golf ball dimpled car. It got better gas mileage that way, too.
Back in the Day – There can’t be a list of horrible car paint fails without a nod to the paint jobs of yesteryear. I won’t name names, but who can forget those budget paint jobs where if you didn’t mask off the parts you didn’t want painted, you’d wind up with your windows and headlights matching the rest of your car? Ah yes, those were the days…
That’s a Wrap – Car wraps are a great idea gone horribly awry. What could have been a good way to get an incredibly smooth paint job wound up being a delivery system for visual blight in the form of garish advertisements. Because we don’t have enough advertising already.
So kids, let these horrible car paint fails be a cautionary tale, and remember, just because you can make your car match your cell phone case doesn’t mean you should.